Pet Peeves

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I’m a bit of a curmudgeon, so I have a lot of pet peeves.

1. We all make mistakes. Humans, by nature, are NOT infallible. Please, for the love of all that’s good and right in the world, proofread. Nothing makes me want to stop reading a blog faster than someone too lazy or quick on the draw to hit that send button before making sure they’re using the right “their” over there!!!!

2. Eating like a cow chewing cud is a big negative in my house. As appealing as your dinner looks on your plate, I don’t need to see it being masticated. Also, please trust me when I say, anything you need to say to me can wait until you’ve swallowed that bite.

3. People who just post a “news” story without researching it. This happens on social media A LOT!! Seriously, ma! I don’t think Channing Tatum died in a freak skiing accident (damn it all to hell!). No, Facebook is not going to close your account if you don’t post that stupid legal notice.

4. OPMs aka. Other People’s Monsters.  My children are not the best behaved. I admit that. They ARE NOT the ones in a restaurant screaming at the top of their lungs, or running between the tables. They ARE NOT the ones in a movie theater that will just not shut up. I know you think it’s just darling that little Susie asks you a million questions about whyistheboybeingmeantothegirl and whydoesthegirlstilllovetheboy and whydoesthebutteronthepopcorncomeoutsoyellow and whycan’tihavecandy and whydoesthesodamakemytummyhurt and whyisthatladytellingmeshhhhhhhuuush and ireallyreallyreallyneedtopee and MOMMYINEEDTOGOPOTTYRIGHTNOW!!!, but the other members of the audience who also paid good money to see this movie, absolutely do not think it’s cute.

5. Drivers who wait until the last-minute to switch into a turn lane. You’ve driven the same route for a year now. You know that the middle lane is not for turning, yet you wait at the red light while all of us lowly, non-Lexus drivers wait in the correct lanes, and then when the light turns green, BOOM! cut us off. Here’s a little clue. Your Lexus is just an overpriced Toyota. Your Infinity is just a high-end Nissan. You are no better than me! Stop cutting me off!!!

Oh my gosh! My lists could go on forever, but I don’t want to bore you to death. Suffice it to say, I am the equivalent of the old man shouting “STAY OFF MY LAWN!!!” at all the elementary kids getting out of school.

Seriously. I’ve done it, already.

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Narcissism: Defined

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The second prompt for January is 20 facts about me.  This is pretty much up my alley, since I can write about my favorite subject. Me. Of course!

1. I have a male best friend. I know! I know! According to Harry Burns women and men can never be friends, but it’s absolutely possible. Especially when neither of us has the physical attributes the other finds attractive. Don’t get me wrong, he’s a great guy, and he’ll make some girl very happy, but it ain’t me.

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2. I have no tact. I try. Really, I do. It’s hard to keep my mouth shut when something annoys, angers, aggravates, or astounds me.

3. I enjoy alliteration.

4. Boom! I also like a well placed onomatopoeia.

5.  I love cooking. Just not when it’s expected of me. I like to experiment with recipes, but my children are too picky, so I can’t.

6. I’m a Sagittarius. Actually, I’m double Sagittarius with Gemini rising. I don’t believe in the horoscope portion of the zodiac, like I don’t read it everyday, but personality-wise, it’s pretty spot on.

7. The oxford comma makes me happy, gleeful, and giddy.

8. I have an unhealthy addiction to social media. I’ve basically quit cold turkey, and it’s killing me slowly. Facebook had all of my “real life” friends, so now I never know what anyone is up to. Instagram fueled the attention whore in me. I was a self-appointed “selfie queen”. Twitter was my cup of tea, because most of my thoughts during the day are 140 characters or less. Unfortunately, I am a huge flirt. I’m also slightly inappropriate, and have boundary issues. This puts a dent in my personal relationships (i.e. my marriage).

9. I have a fairly decent memory. I can remember the most random details. Don’t ask me to repeat your name 5 minutes after I meet you, though.

10. I am in my 3rd cancer free year.

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11. I love to read, but I haven’t found anything that has sparked my interest lately, so I return to the classics.

12. I’m not a big drinker. I used to be. Now, when I drink, I usually get sick, or can’t catch a buzz. There is no in between. This makes me sad.

13. I was in drill team in high school. Sometimes I still do 8 counts in my head while listening to music.

Go drill team, go drill team!

14. I love all styles of music. Except rap. Unless it’s old school gangsta rap. I’ll listen to Public Enemy, NWA, and Tupac all day errday.

15. I am a makeup junkie. I live by the rule “They’re not the same, they’re similar”.

16. Feminism confuses me. On one hand, yes, I think women and men should be treated fairly. On the other, we should understand that women and men will never be equal, because we are two very different sexes with different capabilities. The rest is a matter of respect.

17. I haven’t worked full time in 11 years.

18. I love all things 50’s kitsch. Clothing, jewelry, shoes, underpinnings, and furniture.
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19. I am sarcastic by nature, and feel my greatest accomplishment in life is passing that on to my children.

20. I’m a klutz. I can trip over my own feet at a complete standstill on a windless day. Mystery bruises are a daily occurrence.

I hate…

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Everyone and everything, equally.  Feminist? Hate that you are so caustic. Misogynist? Hate that you are a douche. English major? Hate that you feel the need to correct grammar/spelling/content. Ignorant? LEARN THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN YOUR AND YOU’RE!!!

Going through my feed lately has been a real downer.  If I’m not cringing at the blatant disregard for the English language, I’m shaking my head at the abuse being slung. So, you don’t think I should dress like a slut for Halloween? Maybe I like dressing like a slut, and Halloween is the only time it won’t embarrass my children. A woman who said she was a feminist hurt your feelings? Fucking grow a pair! Jesus! You would think that you were the one with the bleeding vagina! Sometimes….just sometimes….sex is just sex. Casual or not. Just because you went through something horrible, that’s no reason to malign others who are perfectly capable of separating emotions from a sexual encounter. It can happen. I promise.

The highlight of the weekend had to be this enlightening post by my new favorite blogger Ann St. Vincent….(please don’t click if you are a prude or a curmudgeon).

I get it. We are all entitled to opinions. Hell, that’s what this whole post is. One. Giant. Bummer. Of. An. Opinion. I do have an excuse, of sorts. I’m clinically depressed. I’ve been diagnosed, but refuse medication, because I hate feeling like an uncreative zombie.

This is the main reason I miss social media. I knew my audience, and only followed like minded individuals. Blogging is so much more different. I have no idea how to go about finding the blogs that I would appreciate, because “tagging” is really skewed. I could search humor, but what I find funny is definitely may not be what others find funny. I just want a place I can escape to when my mind is turning dark and dismal. I want to be able to “like” more than just a couple of the posts from the 100+ people whom I am following. I want to be able to read a post, and not have to wonder if I should comment, because it will probably come out full of snark and ridicule due to all of the grammatical errors.

I enjoy interaction. I enjoy a good debate. I love glimpses into other’s lives, because it takes bravery to open yourself up that way to complete strangers. Narcissistic? Of course it is! If you say that you are writing a blog for purely altruistic reasons, I will stalk you, travel to your hometown, and call you a liar to your face! Nobody goes onto a public site, spews word vomit all over the place, and hopes that nobody reads it! We’re all here to be seen, so get off your fucking soapbox, and write something to entertain me 🙂

On that note, I’ll just leave this right here:

Day 29: 5 weird things that you like

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1. My husband – trust me.

2. Potato salad sandwiches – I can’t remember exactly when this started, but I remember that I got it from my daddy. He was probably high with the munchies when he made this delicious dinner for me, but that’s ok. It’s stuck now. I don’t know if I actually still like eating it, or it just reminds me of him. Either way, you should try it.

3. Chick Fil A waffle fries with ketchup and mayonnaise – Have you had this nectar of the gods?!? Sweet, tangy, and salty! It’s the ultimate stoner/pms/kid who eats their feelings food!!

Geez! I can’t think of 5 things. If I like something, I automatically stop thinking of it as weird. I haven’t been told of anything strange that I like, but if I think of something else, I’ll have to write it down.

Day 26: Things you like and dislike about yourself

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  1. I love my smile. My mother spent a fortune on it 😀
  2. I’m a loyal friend. If you’re part of my tiny circle, you’re there for life. Blood in/Blood out.
  3. I love that I’m creative in the kitchen. You’ll never go hungry when you stay at my house.
  4. I’m naive about ulterior motives. I can see when someone I care about is getting used, but completely blindsided when it happens to me.
  5. I’m forgiving. This is a love/hate thing for me. On one hand, it allows me to sleep better at night. On the other, I let people back into my life that are probably best left in the dust.

Day 17: Something You’re Proud Of..

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“Pride goeth before destruction, and an haughty spirit before a fall.”

 

There is absolutely nothing in this world that I’ve done, that somebody else couldn’t have done better. I have actually learned my lesson in this life. It never fails, whenever I feel like I have done something outstanding, and brag about it……karma rears her ugly head, and bites me on the ass.

I am, however, very thankful. I am thankful that my children are growing up to be their own people. I am very grateful that my family (what little is left of it) all love me.  I’m thankful that my husband has stuck by me, even in my darkest hours.

Pride has gotten in the way of a lot of things in our marriage. Luckily, we have decided to keep trying.  Some people who have heard little snippets of what goes on may think that our relationship is unhealthy, but they need to understand that what they hear is usually one side of the story.  We have a love story that is in no way perfect, but it’s ours 🙂