Narcissism: Defined

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The second prompt for January is 20 facts about me.  This is pretty much up my alley, since I can write about my favorite subject. Me. Of course!

1. I have a male best friend. I know! I know! According to Harry Burns women and men can never be friends, but it’s absolutely possible. Especially when neither of us has the physical attributes the other finds attractive. Don’t get me wrong, he’s a great guy, and he’ll make some girl very happy, but it ain’t me.

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2. I have no tact. I try. Really, I do. It’s hard to keep my mouth shut when something annoys, angers, aggravates, or astounds me.

3. I enjoy alliteration.

4. Boom! I also like a well placed onomatopoeia.

5.  I love cooking. Just not when it’s expected of me. I like to experiment with recipes, but my children are too picky, so I can’t.

6. I’m a Sagittarius. Actually, I’m double Sagittarius with Gemini rising. I don’t believe in the horoscope portion of the zodiac, like I don’t read it everyday, but personality-wise, it’s pretty spot on.

7. The oxford comma makes me happy, gleeful, and giddy.

8. I have an unhealthy addiction to social media. I’ve basically quit cold turkey, and it’s killing me slowly. Facebook had all of my “real life” friends, so now I never know what anyone is up to. Instagram fueled the attention whore in me. I was a self-appointed “selfie queen”. Twitter was my cup of tea, because most of my thoughts during the day are 140 characters or less. Unfortunately, I am a huge flirt. I’m also slightly inappropriate, and have boundary issues. This puts a dent in my personal relationships (i.e. my marriage).

9. I have a fairly decent memory. I can remember the most random details. Don’t ask me to repeat your name 5 minutes after I meet you, though.

10. I am in my 3rd cancer free year.

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11. I love to read, but I haven’t found anything that has sparked my interest lately, so I return to the classics.

12. I’m not a big drinker. I used to be. Now, when I drink, I usually get sick, or can’t catch a buzz. There is no in between. This makes me sad.

13. I was in drill team in high school. Sometimes I still do 8 counts in my head while listening to music.

Go drill team, go drill team!

14. I love all styles of music. Except rap. Unless it’s old school gangsta rap. I’ll listen to Public Enemy, NWA, and Tupac all day errday.

15. I am a makeup junkie. I live by the rule “They’re not the same, they’re similar”.

16. Feminism confuses me. On one hand, yes, I think women and men should be treated fairly. On the other, we should understand that women and men will never be equal, because we are two very different sexes with different capabilities. The rest is a matter of respect.

17. I haven’t worked full time in 11 years.

18. I love all things 50’s kitsch. Clothing, jewelry, shoes, underpinnings, and furniture.
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19. I am sarcastic by nature, and feel my greatest accomplishment in life is passing that on to my children.

20. I’m a klutz. I can trip over my own feet at a complete standstill on a windless day. Mystery bruises are a daily occurrence.

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If you have a birthday…..

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And no social media, does it really happen?

This is the first birthday since 2008 that I haven’t had some sort of social media, and I gotta say, not having hundreds of strangers wishing me a happy day kinda sucks!

On the other hand, not being on Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter means that my actual friends call or text to let me know that they’re thinking of me.

Of course, this also means that I am super aware of how few “real” friends I have. Painful, yet oddly liberating.

What good are birthdays if you can’t ride an emotional roller coaster, right? So here’s to good friends, being a survivor, and another birthday! Here’s to 38, may it feel no worse than 37.wpid-img_20141205_213242.jpg

I hate…

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Everyone and everything, equally.  Feminist? Hate that you are so caustic. Misogynist? Hate that you are a douche. English major? Hate that you feel the need to correct grammar/spelling/content. Ignorant? LEARN THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN YOUR AND YOU’RE!!!

Going through my feed lately has been a real downer.  If I’m not cringing at the blatant disregard for the English language, I’m shaking my head at the abuse being slung. So, you don’t think I should dress like a slut for Halloween? Maybe I like dressing like a slut, and Halloween is the only time it won’t embarrass my children. A woman who said she was a feminist hurt your feelings? Fucking grow a pair! Jesus! You would think that you were the one with the bleeding vagina! Sometimes….just sometimes….sex is just sex. Casual or not. Just because you went through something horrible, that’s no reason to malign others who are perfectly capable of separating emotions from a sexual encounter. It can happen. I promise.

The highlight of the weekend had to be this enlightening post by my new favorite blogger Ann St. Vincent….(please don’t click if you are a prude or a curmudgeon).

I get it. We are all entitled to opinions. Hell, that’s what this whole post is. One. Giant. Bummer. Of. An. Opinion. I do have an excuse, of sorts. I’m clinically depressed. I’ve been diagnosed, but refuse medication, because I hate feeling like an uncreative zombie.

This is the main reason I miss social media. I knew my audience, and only followed like minded individuals. Blogging is so much more different. I have no idea how to go about finding the blogs that I would appreciate, because “tagging” is really skewed. I could search humor, but what I find funny is definitely may not be what others find funny. I just want a place I can escape to when my mind is turning dark and dismal. I want to be able to “like” more than just a couple of the posts from the 100+ people whom I am following. I want to be able to read a post, and not have to wonder if I should comment, because it will probably come out full of snark and ridicule due to all of the grammatical errors.

I enjoy interaction. I enjoy a good debate. I love glimpses into other’s lives, because it takes bravery to open yourself up that way to complete strangers. Narcissistic? Of course it is! If you say that you are writing a blog for purely altruistic reasons, I will stalk you, travel to your hometown, and call you a liar to your face! Nobody goes onto a public site, spews word vomit all over the place, and hopes that nobody reads it! We’re all here to be seen, so get off your fucking soapbox, and write something to entertain me 🙂

On that note, I’ll just leave this right here:

My baby

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My baby is 12 years old, and I’m always scared that when we are out together people are judging her. She’s not as beautiful as she once was, and quite frankly, I’m scared when we go to her annual appointments, they’ll tell me it’s time to let her go.

She definitely could use a facelift, and some extra makeup wouldn’t hurt, but she’s mine, and I love her. I would trade her in for something small, sleek, and black, but I don’t think I could afford it at the moment.

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Day 28: Somewhere you’d like to move to or visit

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Well, this is a broad subject.  There are a lot of places I would like to visit, and not move to. On the other hand, there’s nowhere else I’d rather live than where I am right now.

1. Canada – I’d only like to visit in the Summer, because I don’t do snow well, and I hear that the summers are glorious!! I live in Texas, and summers here are hot, humid, and miserable.

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2. Seattle – Again, only in the summer, because cold and rain don’t mix well. Also, there’s a girl who lives there that I would love to meet! We “met” on Instagram and realized quickly that we were sisters of the soul. So many parallel life situations that it was kind of scary/spooky.

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3. Greece – The pictures that I have seen look amazing! I would want to go with my children, so that we could explore all of the history that the great country has to offer.

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4. Disneyworld – Once more, somewhere I’d like to take my children. This, at least, will happen before I die or they get too old (pssh! Who’s too old for DW?!?)

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Popeye’s is the shiznit!

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Also known as, “Holy shit! I weigh how much?!?”

We’re trying, again. My bestie with testes, the hubs, and I will be together in a weight loss journey that will have one absolute result. Me, in tears, begging for some Popeye’s mashed potatoes.

I love food, and I hate working out. At my age, I need, nay HAVE, to take better care of myself. My metabolism is only going to get slower, and I really don’t want to be an embarrassment to my children (at least, not accidentally).

So, in the spirit of full disclosure, I am a 37 year old mother of two. I am 5’4″, and I weigh….(gasp) 207 pounds!!!! Vert der ferk?!? THAT’S ALMOST TWO WHOLE PEOPLE!!!

I thank my daddy for giving me the body type that equally distributes fat, so I don’t actually look my weight. Don’t worry. I won’t be updating the world on my diet all the time, because lawd knows this is true:

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You can bet your sweet ass if something significant occurs, you will read about it, though. Probably as a headline. On the front page of a national newspaper/magazine 😉

 

Day 26: Things you like and dislike about yourself

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  1. I love my smile. My mother spent a fortune on it 😀
  2. I’m a loyal friend. If you’re part of my tiny circle, you’re there for life. Blood in/Blood out.
  3. I love that I’m creative in the kitchen. You’ll never go hungry when you stay at my house.
  4. I’m naive about ulterior motives. I can see when someone I care about is getting used, but completely blindsided when it happens to me.
  5. I’m forgiving. This is a love/hate thing for me. On one hand, it allows me to sleep better at night. On the other, I let people back into my life that are probably best left in the dust.