It’s been a while

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I know, I know. I haven’t checked in for quite a while. Dealing with life has kept me busy.

As of right now, I am in such a stressed out state that I don’t even reach out to my closest friends. I hate to be thought of as a burden or a charity case, and try to handle everything myself. This, in turn, creates more stress…not less. Who knew?!?

So, what non-stressful things have been happening?

Well. We rescued a dog on Valentine’s Day. She’s an American bulldog mix. Mixed with what? We have no idea. I suspect it’s Greyhound.

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Her name is Amber, and she’s a Parvo survivor! She’s the sweetest little asshole you’ll ever meet 🙂

I’m addicted to crack….Trivia Crack, that is. It really helps to take my mind off of things, especially when I kick my (way smarter than me) mbff’s butt. Don’t tell him, but my husband helps me on the sports category.

My children are crazy, and driving me crazy, but that’s also a good way to get my mind off of things.

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Is it just me, or does my son look like Carl from The Walking Dead?

Speaking of, I am super bummed that the season is over, and now need suggestions for something to take its place until it comes back on.

Really, nothing else has been going on, so this pretty much catches us up. I hope all of y’all had a wonderful Easter, and I’ll try not to be such a stranger.

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Narcissism: Defined

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The second prompt for January is 20 facts about me.  This is pretty much up my alley, since I can write about my favorite subject. Me. Of course!

1. I have a male best friend. I know! I know! According to Harry Burns women and men can never be friends, but it’s absolutely possible. Especially when neither of us has the physical attributes the other finds attractive. Don’t get me wrong, he’s a great guy, and he’ll make some girl very happy, but it ain’t me.

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2. I have no tact. I try. Really, I do. It’s hard to keep my mouth shut when something annoys, angers, aggravates, or astounds me.

3. I enjoy alliteration.

4. Boom! I also like a well placed onomatopoeia.

5.  I love cooking. Just not when it’s expected of me. I like to experiment with recipes, but my children are too picky, so I can’t.

6. I’m a Sagittarius. Actually, I’m double Sagittarius with Gemini rising. I don’t believe in the horoscope portion of the zodiac, like I don’t read it everyday, but personality-wise, it’s pretty spot on.

7. The oxford comma makes me happy, gleeful, and giddy.

8. I have an unhealthy addiction to social media. I’ve basically quit cold turkey, and it’s killing me slowly. Facebook had all of my “real life” friends, so now I never know what anyone is up to. Instagram fueled the attention whore in me. I was a self-appointed “selfie queen”. Twitter was my cup of tea, because most of my thoughts during the day are 140 characters or less. Unfortunately, I am a huge flirt. I’m also slightly inappropriate, and have boundary issues. This puts a dent in my personal relationships (i.e. my marriage).

9. I have a fairly decent memory. I can remember the most random details. Don’t ask me to repeat your name 5 minutes after I meet you, though.

10. I am in my 3rd cancer free year.

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11. I love to read, but I haven’t found anything that has sparked my interest lately, so I return to the classics.

12. I’m not a big drinker. I used to be. Now, when I drink, I usually get sick, or can’t catch a buzz. There is no in between. This makes me sad.

13. I was in drill team in high school. Sometimes I still do 8 counts in my head while listening to music.

Go drill team, go drill team!

14. I love all styles of music. Except rap. Unless it’s old school gangsta rap. I’ll listen to Public Enemy, NWA, and Tupac all day errday.

15. I am a makeup junkie. I live by the rule “They’re not the same, they’re similar”.

16. Feminism confuses me. On one hand, yes, I think women and men should be treated fairly. On the other, we should understand that women and men will never be equal, because we are two very different sexes with different capabilities. The rest is a matter of respect.

17. I haven’t worked full time in 11 years.

18. I love all things 50’s kitsch. Clothing, jewelry, shoes, underpinnings, and furniture.
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19. I am sarcastic by nature, and feel my greatest accomplishment in life is passing that on to my children.

20. I’m a klutz. I can trip over my own feet at a complete standstill on a windless day. Mystery bruises are a daily occurrence.

G.I.L.F.?

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When milf first started, I thought it was funny. Even slightly endearing. It wasn’t something I necessarily aimed for, but I understood the concept.
None of my friends growing up had parents who were particularly tingle inducing. Of course, this was because most of my friends had parents who were in their late 30’s to early 40’s {{shudder}}. I was never the “American Beauty” type. Older men never did anything for me. I even married a man two years my junior.
Now I’m 37. I don’t look it, though. Most of my online friends were shocked when I told them. Many had assumed I was in my mid to late 20’s. As flattering as this is, it could prove problematic now that I’m a grandma.

Let that soak in…I’m. A. Grandma. It’s cool. I’ve had nine months to prepare.
So now I have “Any gilf jokes?” being asked by well meaning friends. I’ll tell y’all, I was just getting used to the idea of grey hair, wrinkles, and..zits (sad trombone).

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Meet Nevaeh. My granddaughter.

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