Best Physical Feature

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Phenomenal Woman

BY MAYA ANGELOU

Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.

I’m not cute or built to suit a fashion model’s size   

But when I start to tell them,

They think I’m telling lies.

I say,

It’s in the reach of my arms,

The span of my hips,   

The stride of my step,   

The curl of my lips.   

I’m a woman

Phenomenally.

Phenomenal woman,   

That’s me.

I walk into a room

Just as cool as you please,   

And to a man,

The fellows stand or

Fall down on their knees.   

Then they swarm around me,

A hive of honey bees.   

I say,

It’s the fire in my eyes,   

And the flash of my teeth,   

The swing in my waist,   

And the joy in my feet.   

I’m a woman

Phenomenally.

Phenomenal woman,

That’s me.

Men themselves have wondered   

What they see in me.

They try so much

But they can’t touch

My inner mystery.

When I try to show them,   

They say they still can’t see.   

I say,

It’s in the arch of my back,   

The sun of my smile,

The ride of my breasts,

The grace of my style.

I’m a woman

Phenomenally.

Phenomenal woman,

That’s me.

Now you understand

Just why my head’s not bowed.   

I don’t shout or jump about

Or have to talk real loud.   

When you see me passing,

It ought to make you proud.

I say,

It’s in the click of my heels,   

The bend of my hair,   

the palm of my hand,   

The need for my care.   

’Cause I’m a woman

Phenomenally.

Phenomenal woman,

That’s me.

Maya Angelou, “Phenomenal Woman” from And Still I Rise.Copyright © 1978 by Maya Angelou. Used by permission of Random House, Inc.

Source: The Complete Collected Poems of Maya Angelou (Random House Inc., 1994)

Worst Habits

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1. I eat my dinner in the bathtub.
2. I go to sex clubs.
3. I watch freaky people getting it on.

Kidding! Kidding! Eating in the tub is gross!!

I don’t have very many bad habits, but probably the worst is being late all the time. It’s not that I feel my time is more important, or that I don’t want to follow through on the plans we’ve made. I just get distracted very easily.

Also, and I don’t know if this is a habit or a quirk, but I spout song lyrics and movie quotes all the damn time. I’m sure it gets annoying for the friends/family who have to look them up. Luckily, I have two friends who “get” me, so we’ll usually end up quoting an entire movie.

That’s it. Two that I can think of. I’m sure the mister or the bestie with testes would be able to think of a million more, but nah nah, na nah nah…they’re not here.

So, what are some of your bad habits?

What’s In My Purse?

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Clockwise:

Dolce and Gabbana Light Blue

Pen and pad of paper (because I have kids, and this still keeps them occupied for 15 minutes at a time)

Nail file

Truck key and multiple store reward cards

Makeup (I’m a bit of a NYX addict)

My Fluff wallet

Jergens hand lotion

See guys, nothing scary. I left my cuffs at home this weekend.

Mawwage

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How does one go from a loving embrace to wanting to throat punch someone within a few hours?

Be married to my husband.

He’s a good man, a hard worker, a great friend, BUT if he doesn’t drop the bass from his voice when speaking to me soon, he’s going to be no more.

We have been married for almost 13 years, and we’ve been a couple for 15. Ups and downs like any healthy relationship (with a few misdeeds on both of our parts). We have two beautiful, if not conscientious children.

We have different parenting styles. I prefer to nip the behavior(s) in the bud, while he has an “I’m laid back until you annoy me to the point of exploding” approach. Homework in our house is a Sisyphean effort. I tackle the reading, writing, social studies, and projects. He warily approaches fifth grade math. It may seem like an unfair division, but as I’ve said before….many, many times….I don’t math.

The problem with this is simple. The mister works all day, and gets home usually between 6 and 7 p.m. He works in a field where he’s surrounded by whiners all day, so to come home and be bombarded with questions about fractions, decimals, and why the hell any of this is important can be a tad overwhelming to him. This in no way gives him permission to come at me like a spider monkey when I suggest the Prince take his questions to his teacher tomorrow, seeing as how the mister can’t seem to answer a question without a condescending tone. I get it. The boy is a bit of an asshole. He puts off work until the last minute, then expects to be saved. He comes by it naturally. Both his father and I do the same. Damn. Thing.

This has been therapeutic. My pimp hand isn’t twitching half as bad. Now to go listen to some Drowning Pool…

My 5 Senses Right Now

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I feel the wind seep into my bones, as I’ve diligently told my offspring to bundle up, but haven’t taken my own advice.
I smell the drizzle as the earth soaks it up into her thirsty soil.
The smoke from the warmth of my mouth drifts up before my eyes.
I hear footsteps.
I taste the sweet spearmint on his lips as he kisses me hello.

10 Songs I Love Right Now

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Disclaimer: Nowhere in the prompt does it say that these have to be contemporary songs. So, this is actually “10 Songs I Love Forever” 🙂 Enjoy.

Elastic Heart by Sia

Even before the controversy, I loved this song. After seeing the video, I can’t believe Sia felt the need to apologize. People will find evil in the simplest things these days.

Hopeless Wanderer by Mumford and Sons

Probably my favorite Mumford song. The glorious video doesn’t hurt, either.
” Hold me fast, Hold me fast
Cause I’m a hopeless wanderer
I will learn, I will learn to love the skies I’m under”

Colorblind by Counting Crows

I was already a Crows fan when Cruel Intentions came out, then to hear this hauntingly beautiful song during such a pivotal moment in the movie, absolutely destroyed me in the best way possible.

Back to Black by Amy Winehouse

Oh my darling, you extinguished your talent way too soon, which happens all too frequently among “artists”. I love Amy’s voice and the retro style of her music.

(If You’re Wondering if I Want You To) I Want You To by Weezer

Rivers Cuomo et al. are a glorious bunch of misfits, and I’ve loved them since I was in high school **cough20yearsagocough** I was lucky enough to finally see one of their shows thanks to the bestie with testes.

Holding a Heart by Toby Lightman(aka A Girl Named Toby)

Best. Scene. Ever.

Eddie: Daisy Darling, today I make these vows to you. I will never rhyme “crazy” with “Daisy,” even if I mean like “crazy good.” I will not blow my nose in the shower. I promise to always consult you before getting a haircut, and never grow a mustache.

Daisy: Or a soul patch!

Eddie: Or a soul patch.

Daisy: I will not blame you for the bad decisions you make in my dreams. I will keep an eye on that suspicious freckle on your back, even though I’m really sure it’s nothing. And I will not get mad at you about everything when I am only really mad at you about one thing.

(source)

FAHK THIS IS HARD!! IT’S LIKE CHOOSING WHO MY FAVORITE CHILD IS!!!

Bodies by Drowning Pool

Lest you think I am single minded in my music choices, the next few will show you my eclectic taste. This particular song is great for cleaning house, or “cleaning house” iykwim….

Con Te Partiro by Andrea Bocelli

If his voice doesn’t give you goosebumps, you are dead to me! Just kidding, but he does have a beautiful tone,  and the duet of this song with Sarah Brightman is equally beautiful. Not gonna lie, this was the first version of the song I ever heard, though. I was kind of a club kid.

Desvelado by Bobby Pulido

You’d think, growing up in Corpus Christi, TX as I did, I’d pick a song by Selena, but no. I wasn’t a huge fan before her death, and afterwards her overexposure made me even less of a fan. Bobby Pulido was my teenage crush. I can’t say that I understand all of the lyrics (I’m only half Mexican, and my daddy never taught me Spanish), but when he sings that he is walking down the street, sleepless, listening to the radio, and he’s searching for his angel’s voice….it sure does make my heart all aflutter.

Hosanna by Hillsong United

I love Christian pop. I love Gospel music. I even love old school hymns. I have a relationship with God. It may not be a perfect one, but what relationship is? I’m not a holy roller, and I’m not a missionary. I won’t try to convince you that your beliefs are wrong, and unless you start it, I won’t have a religious conversation with you. You can’t deny the intensity of this song, though.

So, this is my list. It in no way encompasses all of my favorites. I love all music (except rap!!), and I will give anything a listen. What are some of your favorites?

Narcissism: Defined

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The second prompt for January is 20 facts about me.  This is pretty much up my alley, since I can write about my favorite subject. Me. Of course!

1. I have a male best friend. I know! I know! According to Harry Burns women and men can never be friends, but it’s absolutely possible. Especially when neither of us has the physical attributes the other finds attractive. Don’t get me wrong, he’s a great guy, and he’ll make some girl very happy, but it ain’t me.

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2. I have no tact. I try. Really, I do. It’s hard to keep my mouth shut when something annoys, angers, aggravates, or astounds me.

3. I enjoy alliteration.

4. Boom! I also like a well placed onomatopoeia.

5.  I love cooking. Just not when it’s expected of me. I like to experiment with recipes, but my children are too picky, so I can’t.

6. I’m a Sagittarius. Actually, I’m double Sagittarius with Gemini rising. I don’t believe in the horoscope portion of the zodiac, like I don’t read it everyday, but personality-wise, it’s pretty spot on.

7. The oxford comma makes me happy, gleeful, and giddy.

8. I have an unhealthy addiction to social media. I’ve basically quit cold turkey, and it’s killing me slowly. Facebook had all of my “real life” friends, so now I never know what anyone is up to. Instagram fueled the attention whore in me. I was a self-appointed “selfie queen”. Twitter was my cup of tea, because most of my thoughts during the day are 140 characters or less. Unfortunately, I am a huge flirt. I’m also slightly inappropriate, and have boundary issues. This puts a dent in my personal relationships (i.e. my marriage).

9. I have a fairly decent memory. I can remember the most random details. Don’t ask me to repeat your name 5 minutes after I meet you, though.

10. I am in my 3rd cancer free year.

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11. I love to read, but I haven’t found anything that has sparked my interest lately, so I return to the classics.

12. I’m not a big drinker. I used to be. Now, when I drink, I usually get sick, or can’t catch a buzz. There is no in between. This makes me sad.

13. I was in drill team in high school. Sometimes I still do 8 counts in my head while listening to music.

Go drill team, go drill team!

14. I love all styles of music. Except rap. Unless it’s old school gangsta rap. I’ll listen to Public Enemy, NWA, and Tupac all day errday.

15. I am a makeup junkie. I live by the rule “They’re not the same, they’re similar”.

16. Feminism confuses me. On one hand, yes, I think women and men should be treated fairly. On the other, we should understand that women and men will never be equal, because we are two very different sexes with different capabilities. The rest is a matter of respect.

17. I haven’t worked full time in 11 years.

18. I love all things 50’s kitsch. Clothing, jewelry, shoes, underpinnings, and furniture.
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19. I am sarcastic by nature, and feel my greatest accomplishment in life is passing that on to my children.

20. I’m a klutz. I can trip over my own feet at a complete standstill on a windless day. Mystery bruises are a daily occurrence.