This is hard for me, because I love my life. My children are my world, and I can’t imagine being married to anyone but my husband. I guess if I had a “what if” moment, it would be about going to college. I was accepted into Southwest Texas State University(now Texas State University) when I graduated in 1995. I didn’t get any scholarships, and only received one loan offer for $1200. Needless to say, this would not have been enough to even pay for my books. I wanted to be an interior designer, but looking back, that may have just been because I picked a random degree. Now, at age 37, I have no idea what I would want to do with my life. I have only ever held customer service positions, and lord knows those are thankless jobs. Every year I am a stay at home mom, it cements the mentality that I have no marketable skills.
I tried to start my own business with the crafts that I make, but that fizzled out when I figured out that I had to sell myself. I am not a salesperson. At all. I don’t know how to network, and I’m lost when it comes to technology. I tried to get the mbff to help, but sadly, he has a life and can’t hold my hand through it all. Also, I enjoy making things, but it is harder to do when it is a job. I like to give the stuff away, and for some reason, you can’t make money that way.
So….what if…..I went to college. Would I have met my husband? Probably not. If I had not met him, I wouldn’t have my two precious angels, and that is a life not worth living.