Apologies

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I prefer to do my writing on a regular computer, and since we don’t have internet, I have to wait for an opportunity to go to my mother’s house.  This is the reason for my post-a-paloooza today.

Now, I’m all caught up, and I’ll try not to do this again, but I can make no promises.  I’ve never finished a monthly challenge, even when I was on Instagram.  I would get to the halfway point, and give up….and that’s just pictures!!  I have lots of ideas, but I never seem to write them down.  Funny thing for a “writer” to admit, but there you go.  I also have A.D.D., so that is another obstacle. I’ll think of something that I think is interesting to write about, and then….squirrel!  Don’t even get me started on shiny objects. No, really. Don’t, because I’ll never get back on track.

Let’s see what I’ve been thinking about recently.

Feminism. It’s been on my mind, because I read a lot of what I’m supposed to do/not do as a feminist. I love my womanhood.  I love that I am able to create life. Men, I swear, you can say that it takes your sperm to help create life, but that’s all it does. It contributes to the gene pool.  When you can actually carry a child, you can say that you helped more than you actually did. On the flip side, that means that you have absolutely no say in whether a woman has to carry a baby to term. I know that abortion is a hot topic issue, but unless you can gestate, you shouldn’t dictate.

Also, I may be a feminist, but I am also feminine. I adore when my husband opens the door for me.  I love hearing that I am pretty.  Just because I enjoy these things, doesn’t make me any less of a feminist.  I don’t NEED for these things to be done to feel complete.  I do need to know that when I go to a mechanic, I will be treated like a person, not a gender. I do need to know that if I am qualified for a job, I will get it, regardless of my vagina.  I do need to know that when my daughter grows up, I will have instilled the self confidence in her to deal with the rampant misogyny. Ladies, it is commendable what you do, but no amount of fighting will get rid of all of it. Especially, if you behave like you hate men.  When you do that, you are not opening up discussion, you are putting someone on the defensive.  The only conclusion that will bring is a negative one.  We want equality, yet when men treat us the same way they treat each other, we cry abuse.  We can’t have our cake and eat it, too.

Abuse.Cheese and rice! What is going on?!?  Between Ray Rice and his wife, Adrian Peterson and his children, and Kanye West and the handicapped I don’t know how to react! These people are all in the spotlight, yet they can’t seem to get themselves under control.

Relationships. We struggle. Daily. Marriage is hard, and I know that it seems like a platitude, but it’s true. I guess I should have known, since my mother and grandmother didn’t have the best track records. I think had I known about myself then what I know now, I would have spared both of us a lot of pain.

Parenting. I have issues with this all the damn time!! I would never in a million years win an award for my parenting skills. To be quite honest, we’re pretty lucky we’ve survived each other this long. My son has behavioral issues. He can’t seem to control his impulses, and I can’t seem to find a solution. I sometimes feel at my wits end, and nobody else has any suggestions either. My daughter is decent. She behaves, but she is an attention addict like me. I see nothing but problems in our future. At least we didn’t name her Diamond.

Those have been my random thoughts lately. I guess they connect more than I initially thought. Go figure.
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